"But the important thing about learning to wait, I feel sure, is to know what you are waiting for." -Anna Neagle
When I imagine things, I always see the beginning and the end, but I never seem to foresee the place between them, the void that begs to be filled. This unfortunately oversight always leaves me scrambling, desperately searching for a solution to this unforeseen problem.
I finished my auditions and it took a day for the fact to sink in that I'm actually done. It seemed like a miracle. Then the brilliance of completion faded and the dullness of waiting swept in to take its place.
I have never been so upset by an empty inbox.
I feel like I'm living in suspended animation -- it takes everything in me to focus on other things (like, for example, my senior recital which is only a month away!), things which are necessarily important. I just can't stop thinking about the results of my auditions. These little emails will determine how my life will continue for the next few years. Right now, that seems like a big deal.
I know I'm probably dramatizing this whole thing. In fact, I know I am. The emails just have to come and then I can deal with it all. Until then, I have to accept the fact that the suspense will continue to torture me.
I guess until then, I can just laugh at opera shenanigans. That Carmen skit never gets old...