Thursday, March 10, 2011

An Empty Inbox

"But the important thing about learning to wait, I feel sure, is to know what you are waiting for." -Anna Neagle

When I imagine things, I always see the beginning and the end, but I never seem to foresee the place between them, the void that begs to be filled. This unfortunately oversight always leaves me scrambling, desperately searching for a solution to this unforeseen problem.

I finished my auditions and it took a day for the fact to sink in that I'm actually done. It seemed like a miracle. Then the brilliance of completion faded and the dullness of waiting swept in to take its place.

I have never been so upset by an empty inbox.

I feel like I'm living in suspended animation -- it takes everything in me to focus on other things (like, for example, my senior recital which is only a month away!), things which are necessarily important. I just can't stop thinking about the results of my auditions. These little emails will determine how my life will continue for the next few years. Right now, that seems like a big deal.

I know I'm probably dramatizing this whole thing. In fact, I know I am. The emails just have to come and then I can deal with it all. Until then, I have to accept the fact that the suspense will continue to torture me.

I guess until then, I can just laugh at opera shenanigans. That Carmen skit never gets old...


Samantha said...

SAME! Oh, the agony of waiting!!! This is exactly as my life has been the past couple of weeks...

eyesometric said...

Thank you for The Shenanigans. Nobody does it better!
Fingers still crossed.